Sex matters – another perspective

My previous post explored sex matters from OSHO’s perspective.  For another perspective I’ve turned to Paul Ford, whose thoughts on the matter open my book.

‘It says here that a bloke can expect to live until he’s ninety, maybe even older if he’s fit and healthy, and gets plenty of sex.’

‘Paul, turn out the light and go to sleep. I’m too tired.’

‘Relax. I wasn’t chatting you up. I just hadn’t thought about living that long. I thought I’d be dead way before ninety.’

‘You’ll be bloody dead before morning if you don’t shut up and let me get some sleep.’

Paul switched off the light. He lay there thinking about living for another fifty years or so and wondering how he was going to pay for twenty five to thirty years of retirement living. He would just have to get serious about financial planning, once they had passed through the private school fees paying phase of middle class living. The last time he had seriously reviewed the family budget the most obvious fact was that their expenses matched their income. There was no surplus for contingencies.

His thoughts turned to Josie. It was always a challenge being next to her in the bed. He wanted sex every time he touched her naked body. Josie, however, had a different perspective. Obviously, as far as Paul could see, God had a twisted sense of humour. How else could you explain the different arousal rates between the sexes? He sees or thinks naked woman – instant arousal, with lumping great erection advertising the state of his interior monologue. She requires hours of talking, coupled with gentle, slow foreplay, before she even thinks about having sex and, even after all that, she is just as likely to roll over and go to sleep, and leave him there with his dripping erection. At least, that had been his experience.

‘Paul, stop tossing and turning! Every time you move you pull the covers off my shoulders.’

‘Sorry. I’ll try to die as soon as possible.’

She ran her smooth hand over his belly. It felt good. His penis stirred from its frustrated slumber.

‘I’m sorry, honey. I’m just really exhausted and I’m finding it hard to go to sleep.’

She snuggled up to him. Within three minutes she was asleep.

It was no wonder prostitution was a thriving business, he thought. It was married men who required the services of prostitutes and supposedly celibate men, in the guise of clergy, who were most strident in their opposition to the profession. He wondered what it would be like having sex with a prostitute. She certainly wouldn’t engage with the client on a personal level. After all, the client was just another transaction and, to survive as a person, the prostitute would have to shut down her emotional self while she was on the job. He decided he’d stick with Josie.

He thought of those times when they did connect and the sex was indescribable. What was the point of sex anyway? It wasn’t about the physical relief, even though that was good, it was about the sacredness of intimacy and that required connection on all three levels of being: physical, emotional and spiritual. He understood why communication failure led to relationship breakdown. The blokes were too much into the physical to notice that the girls were coming from the emotional looking for the spiritual. He knew it was when he came from the emotional, and they touched the spiritual, that they had great sex in the physical.


You can read the rest of the story at: or, if you don’t like paying for postage on your paperbacks at: BookDepository-After by Peter Mulraney


It’s not possible for you to be without Love


This is one of nine ‘it’s not possible’ statements given by Jeshua in The Way of Transformation course. You can find out more about the course at .

It’s an interesting statement to sit with. When you read the statement to yourself, what comes up? Does it sound even remotely like it could be true?

The first time I looked at it I read it as: It’s not possible for you to be without Love.

My ego had a good time with that interpretation. It didn’t even notice the capital L. It simply read it as: It’s not possible for you to be without love. Then it reminded me of all the times I had been without a lover, all the times I’d been taken advantage of in relationships, in the workplace or in business. Where was love then? Where was love when I was feeling broken hearted? Or abandoned? Or ignored? Or taken for granted?

I think we can agree that we have all felt that, at times, we were without love; that there wasn’t any love in our lives.

We all think we know what love is. We spend a great deal of time and energy looking for it and trying to hold on to it when we have it. What do you think love is? What is it you’re longing for?

Do you remember the definition from Corinthians? If you’ve been to a church wedding you’ve probably heard it, or some version of it, even if you have never read a bible.

‘Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.’

Maybe there’s more to love than feeling good about being with someone who thinks you’re special or is willing to have sex with you. It might even be something other than that sense of belonging we get when we feel accepted and cared about by others.

When I revisited the statement, and read it out aloud, I realised there was another way that you could read it that changed the whole meaning. Try reading it this way:  It’s not possible for you to be without Love.

This reading forces you to reconsider your definition for love.

What if Love is the primary force or energy of life? What if Love is simply another word for God?

Puts another spin on our lifelong search for love, doesn’t it?

I’ll leave you to ponder that one.